Mental Health and Recovery

I’ll link all my Mental Health themed posts to this page for easier access.

 

 

 

Really frustrating when you open your wardrobe and hardly anything fits you. Much the same at the shops. Is a mix of stuff not fitting me and the stuff that actually fits menot being to my taste or budget. (Not to mention that at 1.59m tall the size 18 leaves me looking like i borrowed my clothing from a very tall person). At the same time, if im so unhappy with my current size of course i don't want to fill my wardrobe with large clothes…which means i won't have much to wear and, will get pissed off every morning when i need to get dressed. Oh the horror. On the plus side though, i found myself some really nice tops and jumpers in the charity shop next door to this high street store so that did lift my mood a bit. I really really really need to get back on exercising, journaling my food and planning my menu on a daily basis. Trip to Brazil in a couple of months and i just know ill get so much grief from my mum if im this big. I shouldn't care but, especially, that's where this eating disorder comes from and i just don't feel prepared to face the music just yet. I need a plan….and some get up and go! #badwardrobeday #feelingatadblue #needenergy #recovery #beatingbingeeating #retailtherapygonewrong #needtowinthelotto

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After a really good week making healthy choices, yesterday at work i had a bit of a binge. I was really upset for a while and had to dig deep and remind myself that a binge isn't who i am. On the last few nights my little one came.to wake me up at 4am and whilst he does go back to sleep pretty quickly, i don't. It also happens to be the busiest time of the year at work so not having much sleep before heading to the office doesn't exactly put me in a great mood. Today we had a 6am start that saw me grumpy and snappy. After a while trying to get some rest while the little one watched Netflix on my bed, i gave up and just had to get the day started. The impulse in times like these is to just eat whatever is the easiest quickest breakfast, like cornflakes and end up hungry again after half an hour…or over indulge on a stack of pancakes or a batch of brazilian cheese bread. It's hard to surf the urge sometimes, especially when i get up in such a vial mood. Soon all them darm food rules that governed me for so long come back in overwhelming speed…think straight and remembering that a binge from the night before won't ruin my life and does not cancel out all the good choices made throughout last week. So eggs, avocado and toast with a cup'o'joe came to the rescue…that, my daytime light to wake my body up and some fun stuff browsing to enhance the mood. Something is gotta give! #themorningafter #beatingbingeeating #recovery #goodfats #lovemecoffee #lookingafternumberone #sleepdeprivation #triggers

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Working hard on making choices that set me free, break the old rules and create a new relationship with food. After a long working day i just couldn't think of cooking dinner. Choices were, order a takeaway or grab something from the super market on the way home. Walking around sainsburys i just wanted something i could pop in the oven whilst putting the little one to bed. Situations like this can make me anxious and I'll question my options a number of times before i finally make my way to the tills – if anyone watched me im sure they'd think im crazy as i pick up all sorts of things, check ingredients etc…sometimes ill put a whole meal in my trolley just to later on put them all back on the shelves and put a completely different meal together. When we finally set down for dinner and was happy enough with my options. Supermarket food was one day a complete no no, enough reason to leave me feeling guilty for days, now im setting for the fact that it tasted nice and it was much better than ordering food in. This afternoon i was even more surprised when i ordered salad at PizzaExpress. Not because it was healthy or better than pizza or low in whatever nutrients, i ordered because that's what i fancied eating. #recovery #beatingbingeeating #onedayatatime #setyourselffree #lettinggoofperfection

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After 22 weeks of cbt for Binge Eating Disorder i feel a bit lost, a bit like a child who just lost her training wheels but haven't quite master cycling yet. These last two days i found myself starting to get back into the over critical territory and very quickly I went back into being horrible to myself and eating without giving a single thought to what i was doing. Got home back from a family event at work (i work for an amazing group of restaurants which happens to be the best steak house in the UK and all events are naturally set around food and drinks) with a box full of cake I didn't need or was hungry for but which ended up in my tummy anyway. A few minutes later I found myself entering the following on to Google "how to eat healthy and lose weight whilst fighting binge eating disorder" and was lucky enough to find this post which, i think, is just what I needed today to bring my feet back on the ball. Looking back on the week i have reached my goal of having breakfast and dinner everyday and for that I should be proud. Onwards and upwards! http://www.niashanks.com/20-tips-binge-eating/ #recovery #onedayatatime #searchforperspective

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#recovery #ed #beatingbingeeating #babysteps #onedayatatime

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Ups and downs

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I have just finished a 20 week's course of cbt treatment for Binge Eating Disorder, towards the end of the treatment i found myself feeling lost and overwhelmed and my brain reacted as usual,; I have been skipping breakfast and eating at all weird times. I won't be hungry at meal times as have been nibbling (notice i did not say snacking ) and the overfull feeling drags me down and feeds into this horrible circle some of us know so well. Even though i missed breakfast today as was rushing for a hair appointment AND ended up having a chocolate muffin and some nuts at around noon on way to work – I have since managed to stick with main meals and a snack in between. I have had a treat at snack time and far too much alcohol with work mate but still feel i have done really well for the first time in weeks. #celebrateeveryvictory #dailyachievements #newbeginnings #beatingbingeeating

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#takinglifebythehorns #livingasif #beatingbingeeating #BED

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Learning to cherish simple things and count all small victories. #alwayslookatthebrightsideoflife

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